© Copyright 2006 Intercount. All rights reserved.
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So You Want To Write
On Walls?
- BACK-
There are a few things you must do in order to make your presence within
this subculture a welcome one. First; Know the history. Second; Know the
rules of the game. Third; Work hard at being good, or at LEAST competent.
Fourth; Snitches and sh*t talkers get stitches and need walkers. Fifth;
You’re good, but not that good. Keep your fat head to a reasonable swell and
get back to work. These are the five fingers of your left hand, get to know
them well. Soon you’ll be able to get a grip on your self-esteem and we’ll
all be better for it.
First: History
Cavemen drew pictures on walls, but the Egyptians were the first
language artists, then Romans bit the steez. The Greeks, Incans, and Native
Americans all got with the program. There was graffiti on the New York
subway a year after it was built. There is graffiti on the moon. If graffiti
is vandalism, and vandalism is a form of pollution, then man has left his
mark with garbage at the furthest reaches of the universe. So you with your
pathetic desire to be remembered are in good company. It’s important to know
how graff developed in your area code, so consult local experts, and
remember, everybody lies.
Second: The Rules
1.) You suck until further notice.
2.) It’s gonna take a long time before we even acknowledge your existence,
even longer before we can bear to look at that foul scribble you call your
name. To speed the process of acceptance, you can:
A) Choose a clever name that defies the norm of simple-minded slang. An
example of a good name is “ARGUE” (RIP). It looks good when written, sounds
cool when spoken, and conveys a combative attitude. BE CHOOSY.
B) Use paint, gain a thorough knowledge of supplies, remember that
permission walls, stickers, and dust tags are small parts of a balanced
diet, be bold, learn a style of writing for every occasion, and write your
name bigger every time you go out.
3.) Jealousy is a disease for the weak.
4.) Your heart is your greatest possession, don’t let it get taken from you.
5.) Don’t write on houses of worship, people’s houses in general, other
writer’s names, and tombstones. Writing on memorial walls and cars is beef
beyond belief. Furthermore, involving civilians in your beef is grounds for
dismissal.
These are the five fingers of your right hand. Get to know them well. Give
soul claps, firm handshakes, and throw smooth bolo punches.
Third: Developing Style
Although being a toy seems undesirable, you should enjoy it while you can.
At this stage you can bite all you want with no remorse. All your elders
will say is, “Awww isn’t that cute, kootchie kootchie koo.” So steal that
dope connection, rob that color scheme. And loot whole letterforms. Don’t
worry about giving any credit, we’ll pat ourselves on the back and brag how
we’re influencing the next generation. However, style isn’t a crutch or a
schtick. It is understanding why that connection you bit flows, or why that
color scheme bumps. Style is the process to an appealing end. Once you got
it down to a science, you can reinvent letterforms to suit yourself. This
creative growth will amaze the old and young alike. Pretty soon somebody
will steal your secret sauce and the cycle will be renewed. If this happens
to you, don’t b*tch about not getting your due.
Graffiti is the language of the ignored. If your style is stolen, someone
heard you speaking. You got what you wanted from the beginning, some
attention, you big baby.
Fourth: The Law
It must be noted that the vandal squad loves graffiti. Their job
requires them to fiend for graff as much as you do. When you wreck enough
walls, they’ll want to meet you. Just like the ball huggers outside the
graff shop, they’ll recite every spot you hit, with the difference being
you’ll also hear the Miranda Warning. To postpone this, go solo as much as
possible. Don’t write with anyone that won’t fight for you. If you avoid
writing on pristine properties, you’ll stay in misdemeanor territory, and
you won’t divert the cops’ attention from pastry and caffeine consumption
(consult local laws to be sure). Remember, if they didn’t see you do it,
it’s almost impossible for them to win a conviction without your own damming
testimony. Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! Giving a cop info on another writer
will doom you to a life of ridicule, from cops and kids alike, with no
parole.
Fifth: Ego Trippin’
There’s nothing wrong with knowing you’re the sh*t as long as you
are. But once you reach that conclusion, you’re one foot over the edge of
falling off. Watch your step fathead, there’s no shortage of people
chanting, “JUMP JUMP JUMP!” There are plenty of writers that have been
painting well for the better part of 20 years, and your posing and fronting
looks retarded next to them. Get back to work, you “never was” slouch.
In conclusion, graffiti is free, impresses the girls, is heroic in our couch
potato culture, will provide you with a million stories to tell at parties,
and a sure cure for the inner-city blues. If it’s not fun, you’re doing it
wrong or have been doing it too long. So get going, fame awaits the fly
among you.
- Mark Surface
From the book - The Art Of Getting Over Graffiti At The Millenium By Stephen
Powers